A manager wearing a headset sits facing a simulated team member across a small table, rehearsing a performance feedback conversation.

Learn / Difficult conversations

Difficult conversations training: practise the decision, not a script

Rehearse the feedback, disagreement and performance conversations a manager keeps putting off, before the real one.

The moment

The conversation a manager keeps putting off

A report who misses deadlines. A colleague who talks over others in meetings. A complaint that needs an answer. The manager knows what to say until the other person answers with something they had not heard. That is the part to rehearse.

A manager wearing a headset sits opposite a simulated employee who is speaking carefully, hands together, rehearsing a sensitive workplace concern in a private meeting room. — An employee speaks carefully, hands together.

Two colleagues discuss new work amid open-plan desks, seen through the headset, a floating panel of replies between them. — A colleague pushes back on new work.

A headset-wearing supervisor gives feedback to a colleague on a warehouse floor. — A supervisor gives feedback on the floor.

The guidance

What employment regulators tell managers

Australia, Great Britain and the US federal service describe the same shape: prepare, explain, listen, agree the next step.

A seated manager addresses a nearby colleague. A first person VR training scenario for workplace and enterprise, seen through the headset. — A manager addresses a nearby colleague.

Australia: give the employee a chance to respond

The Fair Work Ombudsman’s guide to managing underperformance recommends specific examples, explaining the meeting, listening to the employee and agreeing support and follow-up. Check the award, agreement, contract and workplace policy for the process itself.

A bearded man in a navy jacket talks across a table to two colleagues, a tablet of coloured shapes between them. — A conversation across a table, a tablet between them.

Great Britain: prepare, then manage the conversation

Acas guidance on challenging conversations helps managers prepare, conduct the conversation and plan the next step. Its remit is Great Britain; Northern Ireland has its own framework.

A team leader checks in with a colleague. A VR training scenario for workplace and enterprise. — A team leader checks in with a colleague.

United States: the federal service model

US Office of Personnel Management guidance covers federal supervisors: clear expectations, documented communication, and agency HR and mediation support. Private employers can consider it as a design comparison.

The evidence

Two published studies of rehearsed workplace conversations

Both evaluated VR diversity and inclusion training; the Google study evaluated training built with Equal Reality, a subsidiary of People Tech Revolution. Each tested a specific kind of conversation, named below.

A performance and feedback scenario in the Google DEI training, shaped by bias and stereotyping between a manager and a report. — A performance and feedback scenario from the Google training.

Peer reviewed: Google, ACM CHI 2024

Google’s scenarios included a manager’s performance feedback shaped by bias. In the published paper, the 7 trainees who returned the optional survey gave 82% average agreement that the VR training was better than Google’s standard DEI training, and 94% average satisfaction.

Download the Google research paper PDF

A nurse leader wearing a headset stands in a ward corridor facing two simulated colleagues, one of whom has looked away. — A nurse leader faces two colleagues in a ward corridor.

Peer reviewed: Mayo Clinic, a controlled trial

The Mayo Clinic trial tested a VR module on bias and upstander behaviour that People Tech Revolution built for nursing leaders. Of 1,149 eligible leaders, those who trained gained in empathic feeling against a control group in the week after the class (p = .002). At 6 to 8 months, with no control group left, the sample’s average was still above baseline. Read both Mayo Clinic papers.

Designing the scenario

Four parts of a difficult-conversation rehearsal

Each part is something HR or a line manager can check before anyone rehearses it.

A VR aged care and disability services training scenario in which a support coordinator leans forward at a desk while a young participant answers. — A coordinator leans forward at a desk.

Define the situation

Write down the observed behaviour, its effect, the change wanted and the facts still unknown. Separate what the manager can decide from what needs HR. Have a reviewer flag assumptions about motive, culture, disability or circumstances.

A mentor teacher meets a junior colleague. A first person VR training scenario for education, seen through the headset. — A mentor meets a junior colleague, seen through the headset.

Introduce something the manager did not know

Give the other person a credible explanation the manager has not heard. The rehearsal rewards asking, listening and updating the plan, rather than repeating prepared words whatever the answer.

Two colleagues talk in a staff meeting room, seen through the headset, a floating panel of replies between them. — Two colleagues talk, a panel of replies between them.

Observe the conversation

Record what you saw: a clear opening, a specific concern, a chance to respond, an accurate summary, an agreed action and a follow-up date. Note separately what did not happen.

A headset-wearing coach leans towards their practice partner. An AI roleplay scenario for AI roleplay and practice. — A coach leans towards their practice partner.

Debrief and try again

Ask what the manager intended, what the other person understood and where the conversation turned. Pick one response to practise again. The scenario and debrief guide goes further.

How it runs

In a headset, or in a browser

Managers rehearse with an AI roleplay partner on a laptop or phone, or in a VR headset, then debrief.

A video call scenario in the Google DEI training, where a colleague's technical expertise is wrongly assumed based on appearance. — A video call scenario from the Google training.

A man wearing a headset stands in a workplace corridor while two simulated colleagues walk away from him without turning round. — Two colleagues walk away without turning.

Questions

What HR and L&D leads ask first

Short answers.

An events coordinator briefs two colleagues during setup. A VR training scenario for workplace and enterprise. — A coordinator briefs two colleagues.

Does training replace HR advice?

No. Rehearsal builds the conversation; the employer still runs the right process. Discrimination, misconduct and protected disclosures follow their own pathways.

Must we use VR or AI?

Choose the format for the task and the learner: facilitated roleplay, a browser or a headset, with an alternative for anyone who cannot use one.

A front-desk supervisor stands at a counter facing a guest, practising the exchange in a simulated arrivals hall. — A supervisor faces a guest at the front desk.

What should a supplier show?

A representative scenario, how branching or facilitation works, the feedback criteria and who reviews the content. See how provider types compare.

How do we know it transferred?

Define the workplace behaviour first and agree how a supervisor will observe it. Keep confidence, simulated behaviour and workplace performance as separate measures.

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