--- title: "Difficult conversations training: practise the decision" description: "For HR and L&D leads: what Fair Work, Acas and OPM guidance expects of performance conversations, how to design the rehearsal, and two published studies." canonical: https://peopletechrevolution.com/learn/difficult-conversations-training --- [Learn](https://peopletechrevolution.com/learn) / Difficult conversations # Difficult conversations training: practise the decision, not a script Rehearse the feedback, disagreement and performance conversations a manager keeps putting off, before the real one. The moment ## The conversation a manager keeps putting off A report who misses deadlines. A colleague who talks over others in meetings. A complaint that needs an answer. The manager knows what to say until the other person answers with something they had not heard. That is the part to rehearse. An employee speaks carefully, hands together. A colleague pushes back on new work. A supervisor gives feedback on the floor. The guidance ## What employment regulators tell managers Australia, Great Britain and the US federal service describe the same shape: prepare, explain, listen, agree the next step. A manager addresses a nearby colleague. ### Australia: give the employee a chance to respond The [Fair Work Ombudsman’s guide to managing underperformance](https://www.fairwork.gov.au/tools-and-resources/best-practice-guides/managing-underperformance) recommends specific examples, explaining the meeting, listening to the employee and agreeing support and follow-up. Check the award, agreement, contract and workplace policy for the process itself. A conversation across a table, a tablet between them. ### Great Britain: prepare, then manage the conversation [Acas guidance on challenging conversations](https://www.acas.org.uk/acas-guide-to-challenging-conversations-and-how-to-manage-them) helps managers prepare, conduct the conversation and plan the next step. Its remit is Great Britain; Northern Ireland has its own framework. A team leader checks in with a colleague. ### United States: the federal service model [US Office of Personnel Management guidance](https://www.opm.gov/frequently-asked-questions/employee-relations-faq/addressing-resolving-poor-performance/what-should-i-do-about-an-employee-who-just-wont-talk-to-me-how-can-i-give-this-person-an-opportunity-to-improve/) covers federal supervisors: clear expectations, documented communication, and agency HR and mediation support. Private employers can consider it as a design comparison. The evidence ## Two published studies of rehearsed workplace conversations Both evaluated VR diversity and inclusion training; the Google study evaluated training built with Equal Reality, a subsidiary of People Tech Revolution. Each tested a specific kind of conversation, named below. A performance and feedback scenario from the Google training. ### Peer reviewed: Google, ACM CHI 2024 Google’s scenarios included a manager’s performance feedback shaped by bias. In the [published paper](https://peopletechrevolution.com/uploads/docs/people-tech-revolution-google-vr-inclusion-training-chi-2024.pdf), the 7 trainees who returned the optional survey gave 82% average agreement that the VR training was better than Google’s standard DEI training, and 94% average satisfaction. [Download the Google research paper PDF](https://peopletechrevolution.com/uploads/docs/people-tech-revolution-google-vr-inclusion-training-chi-2024.pdf) A nurse leader faces two colleagues in a ward corridor. ### Peer reviewed: Mayo Clinic, a controlled trial The Mayo Clinic trial tested a VR module on bias and upstander behaviour that People Tech Revolution built for nursing leaders. Of 1,149 eligible leaders, those who trained gained in empathic feeling against a control group in the week after the class ([p = .002](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2024.117648)). At 6 to 8 months, with no control group left, the sample’s average was still above baseline. [Read both Mayo Clinic papers](https://peopletechrevolution.com/work/research-evidence/vr-nursing-leaders-mayo-clinic). Designing the scenario ## Four parts of a difficult-conversation rehearsal Each part is something HR or a line manager can check before anyone rehearses it. A coordinator leans forward at a desk. ### Define the situation Write down the observed behaviour, its effect, the change wanted and the facts still unknown. Separate what the manager can decide from what needs HR. Have a reviewer flag assumptions about motive, culture, disability or circumstances. A mentor meets a junior colleague, seen through the headset. ### Introduce something the manager did not know Give the other person a credible explanation the manager has not heard. The rehearsal rewards asking, listening and updating the plan, rather than repeating prepared words whatever the answer. Two colleagues talk, a panel of replies between them. ### Observe the conversation Record what you saw: a clear opening, a specific concern, a chance to respond, an accurate summary, an agreed action and a follow-up date. Note separately what did not happen. A coach leans towards their practice partner. ### Debrief and try again Ask what the manager intended, what the other person understood and where the conversation turned. Pick one response to practise again. [The scenario and debrief guide](https://peopletechrevolution.com/insights/design-de-escalation-scenario-debrief) goes further. How it runs ## In a headset, or in a browser Managers rehearse with an [AI roleplay partner](https://peopletechrevolution.com/ai/ai-roleplay-practice) on a laptop or phone, or in a [VR headset](https://peopletechrevolution.com/xr/virtual-reality), then debrief. A video call scenario from the Google training. Speaking up at the meeting table. Two colleagues walk away without turning. Questions ## What HR and L&D leads ask first Short answers. A coordinator briefs two colleagues. ### Does training replace HR advice? No. Rehearsal builds the conversation; the employer still runs the right process. Discrimination, misconduct and protected disclosures follow their own pathways. ### Must we use VR or AI? Choose the format for the task and the learner: facilitated roleplay, a browser or a headset, with an alternative for anyone who cannot use one. A supervisor faces a guest at the front desk. ### What should a supplier show? A representative scenario, how branching or facilitation works, the feedback criteria and who reviews the content. See [how provider types compare](https://peopletechrevolution.com/learn/choosing-a-roleplay-training-provider). ### How do we know it transferred? Define the workplace behaviour first and agree how a supervisor will observe it. Keep confidence, simulated behaviour and workplace performance as separate measures. - [Google case study](https://peopletechrevolution.com/work/case-studies/google-vr-dei-training) - [Workplace and enterprise](https://peopletechrevolution.com/work/industries/workplace-enterprise) - [Complaints and open disclosure](https://peopletechrevolution.com/insights/aged-care-complaints-open-disclosure) - [Evidence for innovation teams](https://peopletechrevolution.com/work/innovation-teams) Planning a hard conversation? [Open the contact form](https://peopletechrevolution.com/learn/difficult-conversations-training#contact) Ask our CEO Simon Lowe’s Digital Twin a question ## Sources Each rule and result in the document that published it. ### [Managing underperformance](https://www.fairwork.gov.au/tools-and-resources/best-practice-guides/managing-underperformance) Fair Work Ombudsman, best practice guide Specific examples, a chance to respond, support and follow-up. ### [Challenging conversations and how to manage them](https://www.acas.org.uk/acas-guide-to-challenging-conversations-and-how-to-manage-them) Acas Preparing for and conducting a challenging conversation at work. ### [Addressing and resolving poor performance](https://www.opm.gov/frequently-asked-questions/employee-relations-faq/addressing-resolving-poor-performance/what-should-i-do-about-an-employee-who-just-wont-talk-to-me-how-can-i-give-this-person-an-opportunity-to-improve/) US Office of Personnel Management Clear expectations, documented communication and HR support for federal supervisors. ### [VR inclusion training at Google (ACM CHI 2024)](https://peopletechrevolution.com/uploads/docs/people-tech-revolution-google-vr-inclusion-training-chi-2024.pdf) Peer-reviewed paper, hosted by PTR Agreement that the training was better than the standard DEI training, and satisfaction. ### [VR training for nursing leaders: a controlled trial](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2024.117648) Social Science and Medicine Empathy and upstander outcomes against a control group.